Stone Butch Beer: A trip to Stone Brewery

My work day ended yesterday with a trip to Stone Brewing World Bistro & Gardens – a kind of Mecca for beer lovers, butch and otherwise.  The reason was bad, a farewell for a laid off colleague, but he was in good spirits and the beer was very good.  Stone is a big, gorgeous facility. Lots of rocks and open beams. It is huge with lots of gardens and pathways. These are useless, of course, for the drinker.  Unless you need a breather or want to wander off with your femme for a little break.  Getting drunk means less cool beers to try, so timing and spacing are important. It also makes you much better company to keep your cool. There is nothing butch about getting hammered.   So, on to the beer I tried yesterday.

First, I had to go for one of their own: Ruination IPA Double Dry Hopped.  This is a long way of saying “yum.”  I only rated this beer a 3 out of 5 on Untappd, but it was pleasing, nonetheless.  Brown and very hoppy, it has a fairly high alcohol content at 7.7%, so be aware.

Next, I went for a sip of a colleague’s xxx Black Double IPA from Midnight Sun Brewing Co.  This was as dark as…midnight, and very rich (8.5% BAC).  If you like Guinness, you will love this one. It was delicious. Also 3 out of 5.  This brings me to my most important beer drinking tip – sips and tasters.  Sips are what you take (or steal) from friends, colleagues, and drinking buddies. Tasters are small 1 to 2 ounce pours of a beer you order, sometimes free, and sometimes not.  Either one results in you getting to try a new beer without all of the alcohol or caloric content of ordering your own.  I suppose you could order a beer and then not drink it, but is that not akin to alcohol abuse?  No, sips and tasters are definitely the way to expand your beer repertoire safely and affordably.

The third beer I tried was Damnation from Russian River Brewing Company. Several of my friends have suggested this one to me, and now I can suggest it, too. This is a Belgian Strong Pale Ale with a 7.75% BAC. Though I rated this the same as the first two (3/5), this was my favorite of the evening at Stone. Untappd says this one has “extraordinary aromas of banana and pear with mouth filling flavors of sweet malt and earthy hops. The lingering finish is dry and slightly bitter but very, very smooth.” Now, if I had tried thousands of beers, I might have been able to describe Damnation that way, but I haven’t…so I say “Ditto.” This one is great, plus it has a great name.

Fourth was a sip. I bought the next round, and so of course I got to taste the Arrogant Bastard Ale Aged in Bourbon Barrels by Stone. This is like Stone’s well known Arrogant Bastard (another great name), but stronger and smoother. I gave this one 4/5, but I liked Damnation better? Well, I had a whole pint of Damnation and only a sip of this one, so the Damnation stands out more. A good beer in the hand is better than a great beer in one’s memory.

Fifth, came a mistake appropriately named “Twerp” by Pizza Port. This was awful. I would give it 0/5, but alas, I gave it 1/5 because 0 is not an option on Untappd. This really was awful – flat, bitter, and watery. I have no idea why anyone would order this. The Bud Light Lime my fiancé had tonight tasted better (don’t judge me!).

After these 5, it was time to head off to Whole Foods to shop with my femme. We had a little dinner before shopping and I tried another new beer – Velvet Merlin by Firestone Walker Brewing Company. Yuck. This one gets a 2 out of 5. I almost didn’t finish this one because I didn’t care for it, but then, that would not be very butch, would it?

The next cool thing about Whole Foods is that you can walk around the store with a beer. Did you know that?!? So, I grabbed a Blanche de Chambly from Unibroue. I know! What a great name for a brewery! It calls to mind strong German women who coach gymnastics. But the beer is not like a strong German woman, it is more like a spicy femme, one that you want to treat well so that you can see her over and over again even though she has very expensive tastes. Ha! The only issue was that it was a little hard to finish the whole thing (22 ounces) before checking out. There are worse problems…

Try the beer. Be butch.

About Tristan Higgins, aka Butch Jaxon

I am a butch. This blog is about what I think. If you do not know what butch means, you are probably on the wrong blog. In the interests of inclusion, though, I can tell you that “butch” means a lesbian that is big, strong, tough, more macho, less girly. Of course, there are no hard and fast rules – which is an ongoing theme in my blog (and in the comments), but those are the basics. A butch will most likely not wear makeup. A butch is often referred to as “sir” by someone who is not paying attention. What else? I am, after all, not just a butch. I am happily married to the most amazing woman ever, and the mother of two fantastic kids. I am also a lover of, in no particular order, beer, bow ties, breasts, movies, hiking, bookstores, travel, dogs, geocaching, polar bears, the gym, music, gadgets, and more. By day, I am an intrepid corporate entertainment lawyer. Although I try hard not to be labeled as such – sporting a bleached Mohawk, for example. Think more entertainment and less corporate. By night, bring it all on! In my blog, I talk about things from a butch perspective, but this is not just for butches. We all love our femmes. Please do not let me offend femmes, mine in particular! If you like what you read here, I hope you will comment and let me know what you think. If you do not like what you read, well, what the hell do I care? Start your own blog. Be Butch. View all posts by Tristan Higgins, aka Butch Jaxon

2 responses to “Stone Butch Beer: A trip to Stone Brewery

  • Your sister Sharon

    I have a couple of questions, and perhaps they are answered in later Butch blogs, but I have anxiety already so must ask now; forgive me.

    Is it a concious decision to be a butch or a femme, or is it innate like being a girl or a boy, gay or straight?

    Is it a sideways compliment when you go to the bathroom and women think you’re of the male persuasion? Or, is that not the point at all – do you still wish to be viewed feminine but masculine feminine?

    I don’t know how you could score anything above any IPA.

    It’s interesting to see the world through someone else’s perspective – blonde, thin, a different culture, a different nationality, a different sex, a tee-totaller etc, but Butch, or maybe more accurately, lesbian is very enjoyable because it’s not something I think I would be accurate on if I tried to imagine. What I mean by that is I would never dream of being rude to someone based on their sexuality, nor would I ever have looked at you funny in the bathroom – I might have said hi, and thought you were very handosme (teeth), for a lady (oh shhh!) but that would have been the extent of it.

    When are we going wine tasting?

    Like

    • ButchOnTap

      Dear Your Sister Sharon, thank you for your great questions. I will answer them for myself. Maybe another reader will also answer for another perspective.

      1. Is it a concious decision to be a butch or a femme, or is it innate like being a girl or a boy, gay or straight?

      I think it’s innate. I am butch, a girl, and a lesbian. No choice really in any of those for me. I had a period in my life where I did not know I was a lesbian, and I was immediately happier and more comfortable once I did. Same thing for being butch. I started to explore my butchness when I was 18, but then tried to soften it up because of feedback from others I was interested in. I have always been a butch, but tried to be less identifiable as such for societal reasons. So I think one is or is not a butch, and then life and, most especially, one’s partner moves one up or down on the scale depending on what one’s partner finds attractive.

      2. Is it a sideways compliment when you go to the bathroom and women think you’re of the male persuasion? Or, is that not the point at all – do you still wish to be viewed feminine but masculine feminine?

      It is not a sideways compliment for me (or others I have discussed this with) at all. It is actually quite painful for me – though that’s not very tough of me to admit. I am a woman, proudly so. I would always like to be identified as such, but as my own woman. I do not fit the stereotype of a woman, but that does not make me less of one.

      It’s interesting that you say “masculine feminine.” That is kind of a cool way to say it. Maybe that is it a little. I always think “strong woman.”

      Thank you for asking questions. And wine tasting, yes! When?

      Like

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