I Don’t Like Sushi

I don’t like sushi. There, I said it. I love veggie rolls, and anything that is cooked, but not raw fish. It’s a problem. For real. And something I will either have to hide while in Japan or be prepared to deal with.

My Japanese colleagues will want to take me to excellent sushi. After all, what do most Americans want to experience in Japan? Sushi. So, I will go and eat sushi and I will drink lots of sake and it will be fine. I also cannot stand shellfish. Any kind of shellfish. Lobster, crab, scallops, mussels, abalone, clams, oysters – disgusting. The lot of them. Again, I realize that this makes me a bit of a freak. Whenever I am at a high-end event and all of my friends and colleagues are freaking out about the “amazing crab legs” or the “ridiculous oyster bar” I just shake my head. It’s really a texture thing for me. The flavor is ok really, but I can’t stomach the texture of these sea creatures.

On top of that, they are sea creatures, very small animals. When served, they frequently are still the whole animal. I have trouble eating a life. A piece of pork under cellophane in the market, or a lovely piece of steak on my plate, totally distanced from its source, is one thing. And both pigs and cows are indeed delicious. But a lobster, in tact, sitting on my plate? No, it’s too much for me. A friend said it really well recently. She is a marine biologist and she shares my distaste for all of these sea creatures, which she explains are her friends. How can she eat her friends? I note that she is a very attractive femme, and I would try anything she asked me to, so it’s a good thing she doesn’t care for shellfish. To my friends reading this, if you didn’t know that about me, take note. It can easily be a new sport for you – a form of hazing Butch.

And, before you say, “Butch, you need to try it,” let me assure you that I have. My ex wife is a lobster freak (I assume this is still the case), and my ex GF loved all manner of sushi and shellfish. Each of them at various points in our relationships encouraged me to try all of these items over and over again in case my tastes had changed. And, of course, I always try things that I am asked to try. Each time, I would say, “Of course, honey” and try what I was offered. My tastes had not changed, much to their chagrin. Even last weekend at dinner with a bunch of friends at an amazing place, a friend was over the moon with her scallops – my least favorite of all shellfish – and she asked me to try them. She’s a pretty femme, and well, what can I say? Of course I did as she asked and tried a bite – washing it down with the Chimay I was drinking as politely as I could. Blech.

So, I am an American business woman in Japan (sounds like a tag line for a show) and a lesbian at that. And, I don’t like sushi. I refuse to make that joke – you know the one – because I think it’s gross and very, very far from the truth, but I’d be a fool if I didn’t acknowledge that at least some of you are thinkng it. For shame.

Dear Japanese people and sushi fans the world over: I am sorry.

Dear PETA and fish friends: you are welcome.

Well, what can I say? It’s butch (or at least good business) to eat things you don’t want to in order to not offend your hosts? Ok. Be Butch.

About Tristan Higgins, aka Butch Jaxon

I am a butch. This blog is about what I think. If you do not know what butch means, you are probably on the wrong blog. In the interests of inclusion, though, I can tell you that “butch” means a lesbian that is big, strong, tough, more macho, less girly. Of course, there are no hard and fast rules – which is an ongoing theme in my blog (and in the comments), but those are the basics. A butch will most likely not wear makeup. A butch is often referred to as “sir” by someone who is not paying attention. What else? I am, after all, not just a butch. I am happily married to the most amazing woman ever, and the mother of two fantastic kids. I am also a lover of, in no particular order, beer, bow ties, breasts, movies, hiking, bookstores, travel, dogs, geocaching, polar bears, the gym, music, gadgets, and more. By day, I am an intrepid corporate entertainment lawyer. Although I try hard not to be labeled as such – sporting a bleached Mohawk, for example. Think more entertainment and less corporate. By night, bring it all on! In my blog, I talk about things from a butch perspective, but this is not just for butches. We all love our femmes. Please do not let me offend femmes, mine in particular! If you like what you read here, I hope you will comment and let me know what you think. If you do not like what you read, well, what the hell do I care? Start your own blog. Be Butch. View all posts by Tristan Higgins, aka Butch Jaxon

11 responses to “I Don’t Like Sushi

  • Sensi Boutique

    I am right there with ya I have a super texture thing and sushi has to be the worst lol.

    Like

  • Annabel

    Not a fan of most seafood either myself. Hate oysters and scallops too and I always use this excuse – shellfish allergy.

    Like

  • Searching4Self2013

    Dude. I so relate to this. 100%. I had a femme tell me, laughingly, the other day that every butch she’s ever known is a picky eater. Her theory is that we put so much energy into being exactly who/what we are, societal expectations be damned, that it spills into our food preferences. So, according to that femme, anyway, it’s butch to know what you don’t like and refuse to eat it. 🙂

    Of course, that doesn’t solve the business thing. Good luck with that.

    Like

  • Jamie

    Well it’s entirely possible your tastes will change as you move through life, I personally have entirely different tastes than when I was in my 20’s. Just keep on trying new things and keep it Butch!!

    Like

  • Debi

    Everyone has their own tastes. I can’t even think about eating oysters or clams. Ewww. I love sushi. We all have different tastes. That’s what makes us unique.

    Like

  • Shugie

    Ummm ewwww…raw fish sushi, blech!!!! The California rolls are ok, veggies, rice and seaweed are ok. And gotta say BOT you’re awesome for trying anyway, cause being a pleaser is hawt!!

    Like

  • A Spare Mind

    Butch Jaxon, don’t eat anything you don’t want! Good for you. But the whole ‘polite to another culture/ to the hosts/ to the BOSSES’ thing is a tough one. Let us all just be thankful for tongue scouringly strong alcohol. It will do the trick.

    Now. I have one for you…try durian fruit. 🙂 Enjoy!

    Angela

    Like

  • Rachel Kantstopdaphunk

    I can’t even begin to comprehend what you life is like. You be you. I LURVE sushi. And scallops! and oysters! Lobster!!! I’m a pescatarian because the texture of most meat icks me out, so I don’t eat meat but do eat seafood. Lots and lots and lots of seafood. Good luck with the sushi bars, wish you could somehow just send all the sushi to me!!!

    Like

  • FemOutLoud

    Loved this post!

    I also love sushi, and seafood, as it happens. But I still loved this post. Thank you for yet another bit of writing that was worth staying up past when I planned to go to bed, just to read it. 😉

    Like

  • J Notha

    Order Tamago, Inari, cumber roll (all vegetarian).
    Also you may be able to sidestep the sushi issue by ordering some delicious ramen or udon.

    Don’t forget not to put sauce on your rice as it is considered extremely rude!

    Enjoy Japan & good luck!

    Like

  • Lisa

    You don’t have to eat sushi. There are other meals like; sukiyaki and nikujaga, both are cooked meals that include meat and the latter is a stew with meat & potatoes in it. Also have some noodles like udon or even dumplings. Have a good time!

    Like

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