Two years ago today, my life changed forever.
I suppose that is actually true every single day of our lives in the most strictest sense. But I don’t mean in the strict, rhetoric, philosophical sense. I mean in the something-huge-happens-that-changes-the-course-of-your-life sense. Two years ago today, I posted the piece “Wanted: Femme for Butch.” My therapist told me to write a list of what I wanted in my next relationship. Write it down, he said. It will help you get clear about the kind of woman you want to be with. I thought about it. And thought. And, then I started writing. And I wrote and wrote. It took me some time to get it posted, for a variety of reasons, but whatever the reasons, I posted it today (two years ago).
And then, a few weeks later, one of my fans shared a piece I wrote – not the Wanted piece, but a different/forgettable piece. My wife saw that piece on her friend’s wall and I think she was intrigued by my picture. This was before I “came out” as myself, and so it was a heat mapped version of me. Apparently, she liked what she saw enough to follow the link and read the forgettable piece. Even though she never reads blogs. Then she read another (better) piece, and it included a link to the Wanted piece. She followed the link and read my want ad. She was really affected by it, enough so that she left a comment. Even though she never leaves comments. Her comment was so genuine and honest. Shortly after that, she followed me on Twitter and I saw her picture, which was not heat mapped.
I don’t know if it was because of her comment, her picture (hot, hot, hot), or the fact that I was already set to take a trip to Scotland (where she lived) a few months later, but I reached out. We started talking. First on Twitter in 140 bite chunks, and then in email in much longer chunks. Then we talked on the phone. That led to Skype and we were sure we were both real people, lesbians who looked just like the pictures we had shared online (no catfishing). And we kept on talking, until one day I said, do you think maybe we should meet? In person? *gasp* And you know what? She did think we should meet. In person. A few weeks later, we made that happen. I’ve never been so nervous at the airport in my entire life. Three-piece suit, hair just so. Big bouquet of roses. You can’t text from the customs and immigration lines at the airport, so once someone goes in, it’s a crap shoot when they come popping out of the magical door. Out she came, and suddenly, there she was standing there in the United States in living color. *gulp*
I’ll skip the next bit, but feel free to add your own flourish.
I said in my piece that I wasn’t quite ready for the woman I was advertising for, but that if the Universe sent her my way, I would get ready. Well, it turns out that I knew myself pretty well. I wasn’t ready for her – for all the amazing awesomeness that is her – when the Universe sent her to me. But, I got ready. And, she was patient. And, now I am her wife. All because of the piece I wrote down and then sent out into the Universe. Like a message in a bottle thrown into the sea. “Come find me!” I called out across the social media ocean as I lovingly shoved my electronic message into the protective glass of my website.
Get clear on what you want. Then share it with the world in whatever way you share. I did that work to get clear, and then I asked on this day. So, it feels like my life changed dramatically (for the better) two years ago. I set in motion the events that lead to me meeting the love of my life. Two years ago today, before I even met her, I moved one step closer on the path to my own happily ever after.
Thank you to my Femme for Butch. You are amazing and I am lucky enough to get to love you every day, and to have you return that love. It is Butch to know and ask for what you want. If you are lucky (#oneluckybutch), you will get it. Be Butch.