Category Archives: lesbian dating

VH1’S “LOVE & HIP HOP ATLANTA” STAR MARGEAUX SIMMS TAKES OVER THE DINAH

Reality TV star and provocative controversial artist, Margeaux Simms is confirmed to perform at the highly anticipated 27th anniversary of Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend in Palm Springs, CA.


Men and women have swooned for Margeaux Simms since she was introduced to reality television on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta (LHHATL) and gained instant international recognition.

Simms was introduced as the “secret wife” of Nikko London, a music producer/aspiring rapper. Although married, Simms and London had been legally separated and remained friends. During that time Simms began dating her equally stunning partner, androgynous model Merike Palmiste. 

It’s not every day that you come across someone from a reality TV show franchise who actually has talent and isn’t afraid to showcase it. But Margeaux Simms surely is the exception. While on Season 4 of LHHATL, she released her single “Start a War”, which single-handedly connected hiphop R&B and electronic music and cultivated a massive fanbase.

This multi-talented stylist/recording/visual artist of Canadian-Jamaican heritage grew up surrounded by farmland, but by the time she was 14 was pursuing music. She sang on hip-hop tracks while attending Ryerson Polytechnic University to study fashion design. 

The visual entrepreneur adopted the brand moniker “HOFM” which stands for House of Margeaux – a music production and entertainment company, with her own line of merchandise.

Even though she moved to the U.S. to pursue a career as a fashion designer, the trailblazing artist, named after a French queen, soon realized she wanted to be a professional musician. 

Since then, she has worked with Nellee Hooper and Timbaland put out two albums Animal House and Illegal Alien and has toured all over the US and Europe wth performance at SXSW, Dallas Gay Pride, NYC Pride, Houston, New Orleans Atlanta and the Flow music Festival in Finland with New Amsterdam Vodka this past summer.

She is now readying to drop her new visual EP “Black Cocaine”, set to be released later this year. 

Simms also recently debuted the video for her new single, “Girl On the Left” featuring her partner Merike Palmiste.

Every year more than 15,000 women flock to Palm Springs to see celebrities, party and be entertained by the year’s newest breakout female performers. And this year it’ll be Margeaux Simms who will grace The Dinah’s stage and she is one in a long list of chart-topping talent in years past that have taken over the epic event’s main stage including Lady Gaga, Iggy Azalea, Katy Perry, Kesha and Meghan Trainor and more.

Don’t miss your chance to meet Margeaux Simms and her gorgeous girlfriend, Merike Palmiste at The Dinah, and see her live.

For more information and/or to purchase tickets go to: http://www.thedinah.com

​#thedinah #thedinah2017


The Dinah 2017!

BUILDING COMMUNITY AND BREAKING BARRIERS: THE DINAH 2017 CELEBRATES WOMEN WHO HAVE SHATTERED THE GLASS CEILING.

Heading straight toward the big three-oh, Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend (aka The Dinah) continues to make its presence felt across our country and around the world by raising the visibility of women in all facets of life, from artists, to comics, to filmmakers, to athletes and beyond.
For over a quarter century Mariah Hanson – founder and producer of the largest lesbian event in the world – has not only been delivering epic good times to lesbians, but has as well continuously been moving the needle with her ongoing commitment to amplifying, championing and celebrating women’s voices and talent via The Dinah.

The growth and longevity of the event – a worldwide cultural phenomenon – is all the more astonishing and remarkable at a time when lesbian bars, spaces, festivals and publications are rampantly vanishing all across the country. We need places to play, too!

This is why, now, more than ever events like The Dinah are necessary to reconnect our community. The Dinah is entirely produced by women, for women, and that has never been a more powerful statement than in today’s climate.

Kicking off at the close of Women’s History month on March 29th and wrapping on Sunday, April 2, the Dinah 2017 will celebrate and honor the trailblazing women in the Arts, Sports and Entertainment industry who have achieved historic firsts.
“Now more than ever, it is enormously important to celebrate and raise the visibility of women breaking glass ceilings especially within our own community because we need to be reminded that we are strong, capable, united and powerful in a time when our voices, especially spoken in unity, are needed more than ever before,” says Mariah Hanson.

The 27th installment of the Dinah is already expected to be one of the major highlights of the 2017 Palm Springs festival season with a powerful all-female line-up covering the entire gamut of the entertainment spectrum including sports, music, fashion, comedy, film & TV.

The incredibly inspiring women slated to perform at The Dinah in 2017 include: world surf champion now turned cutting edge DJ Keala Kennelly who not only made a big splash playing herself in the 90s cult movie “Blue Crush” but also made history for female surfing winning the first women’s big wave contest at the Nelscott Big Wave Classic in 2010; Butterschotch, the first female beatbox world champion and a finalist on NBC’s America’s Got Talent; singer, songwriter, rapper Tysh Hyman who penned songs for top-notch artists like Alicia Keys, Diddy, Kelly Rowland and Kanye West; rising pop star and Latin hip hop artist Lady Cultura.

Championing and perpetuating the rise of women DJs behind the decks, The Dinah will also put the spotlight on some of the top female DJ tastemakers including DJ Kittens and the dynamic duo known as Stevie Trickz.

On the comedy front, the always politically incorrect stand-up comedian Julie Goldman, one of the most hilarious, provocative and familiar faces on Bravo’s “The People’s Couch” and the “Vanderpump Rules” will up the volume on your laughter. She’ll be joined by British comic Gina Yashere, who broke onto the American comedy scene with her appearance on NBC’s Last Comic Standing, and the wildly hilarious Erin Foley who has been taking the comedy scene by storm across the nation.

And, of course, I will be there!

Collectively these daredevils have considerably changed the game for women achieving power through their remarkable ability to build community around the personal brands they’ve created and the causes they champion. “The Dinah has always stood for living out loud in celebration of our unique and incredible lives. This year we are bringing that message up a few notches,” says Hanson.

These are women who have taken a chance, shaken off-stereotypes, fought adversity, and broken the glass ceiling in their respective professional fields paving their own ways. Because that is what the Dinah has been and continues to be about: living outloud breaking barriers!

The Dinah 2017 is March 29 through April 2, 2017. For more information about The Dinah go to: http://www.thedinah.com. Hurry! Tickets go up March 1st.


An Angelika Date Night

The San Diego location of Angelika Cinemas

The San Diego location of Angelika Cinemas

Yesterday, my wife got official notice she’d been awarded her PhD. We were both ecstatic. Date night tonight, we decided. I worked late – much later than we expected – and so we weren’t sure if our previously planned dinner and a movie would work. We decided to do dinner (The Habit) and then see if we had time to make the 8:05 showing of The Martian at the new cinema practically next door. As we finished our chips (French fries to most Americans), we decided the movie was a go. The cinema we headed to is brand new. Like, been-open-maybe-3-weeks new. It’s called Angelika and it is a high-end, reclining seat/foot-rest, fancy food, digital projector cinema. We’d heard good things and were eager to try it. Normally, if we want to go to for a high-end film evening, we have to drive over to the coast. This new theater is only 15 minutes away.

We got to the lobby at 8:05. Recall our movie start time? Anyway, there was quite a ticket line and the two registers weren’t plowing through it fast enough. We tried to use the self service option, as well as Fandango, but neither was working (maybe they are connected). I politely asked a manager if there was any other way to get our tickets. He apologized for the delay but said there was not.

It’s not his fault we were late, obviously, so we thanked him and waited. My wife went to grab our snacks and I joined her with our tickets. Not only do they have those neat soda machines with 10,000 flavors, but Angelika serves craft beer, 8 taps of local beer to be exact (with 1 visiting beer from Avery Brewing in Colorado).

Chris, General Manager, Angelika San Diego

There was a glitch with the register and so they happily sent us into the theater and said they’d bring our credit card to us later. Again, us being late not their fault.

We went and found our dedicated seats: big, leather, comfy ones with a swing-out tray (like an old school desk, only much, much cooler). Only down side? Not loveseats like some have. Cuddling over the soft armrest still achievable, though. The cashier brought my card in almost immediately and asked me to stop after the movie to sign. We thoroughly enjoyed the movie, but we did not eat our caramel popcorn. It seemed a bit burned.

After the movie, we went out to sign the receipt and ask if they would refund us for the popcorn. Not only were they apologetic and happy to refund our money, they gave us a fresh bag and offered me another beer while they handled the refund. The manager from the ticket line came and found us to offer us 2 free tickets to return. Again he apologized for the delay in ticketing – though they didn’t do anything wrong. A different manager, Chris handled the refund and I complemented the beer selection. When he said he was responsible for the drafts, we had a nice chat. I asked Chris to pose for the glamorous tap shot above.

My wife and I wandered to the lobby to finish my beer and our popcorn, marveling at the outstanding customer service. To a person, they were kind, polite, and extremely helpful. We were both so impressed we thought a review was fitting.

If you are in San Diego, come check out our newest high-end cinema. If you are not, check Angelika’s website as they are in several other states (NY, VA, DC, and TX). Oh, and in case you were wondering, I had the Lost and Found from Lost Abbey.

It’s Butch to have date nights. Be Butch. 


Valentine’s Day Redux: How Not To Spend It Alone

This is an updated version of a post that first ran 2 years ago. It is as applicable today as it was then.

Attention butches!  This is a public service announcement for Valentine’s Day. What’s that, you say?  It’s almost two weeks away?  A whole 9 days?  No need to worry about that yet. You have plenty of time. WRONG!

Please allow me to give you some advice. Let me offer some tidbits I have learned while loving a femme. You need to get ready. NOW. Not 8 days from now, because your girl will know. How will she know?  I don’t know, but trust me they ALWAYS know. And you will feel the full wrath of your girl if you do not prepare.

A special note for you married butches: Do not assume Valentines Day does not apply to you anymore. Sure, you aren’t doing a full court press as you were when you were dating, but you still love her, right? You still want her to feel special, right? This applies to you, too.

Ok, first do not tell me that she is the kind of woman who doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day. Its simply not true. Even if you have heard her say one or more of the following:

1. I don’t care about Valentine’s Day

2. I don’t need anything special

3. I don’t want you to go to any trouble

4. I don’t want you to spend too much money

5. It’s just a stupid Hallmark holiday

6. Flowers are a waste of money; they just die

7. I don’t need any more jewelry

8. Who needs chocolate and teddy bears

These are lies. All lies. Every single one of them. Do not believe her!  Why does she say these things if she doesn’t mean them?  Well, apart from her being a femme, you mean?  I don’t know. Why do femmes say most of what they say?  It could be that she is trying to convince herself of any one of these statements. Perhaps she knows from past experience that you will let her down and she is preparing herself to lessen the blow when another Valentine’s Day comes and goes and she is left with a meaningless card and a lame little teddy bear from 7-11. Whatever the reason, ignore her.

Hopefully, I have convinced you that you must do something – that you must decide on a plan of action and put it in play now.  If so, you may be thinking, “Butch, what should I do?” Read on.

The bad news is that there is not one size that fits all women.  The good news is there are lots of great options and they can be divided into 7 easy-to-understand categories. Fit it into one of these, and you will be golden. Note that only a couple are expensive; at least four of these can be affordable, so not being loaded is no excuse to neglect your femme on Valentine’s Day.  Unless you want to be neglected, that is.

1. Thoughtful. Think mushy. Put together a collage of ticket stubs from shows you’ve been to together, throw in a matchbook from a place you ate at that she loved. What’s that you say?  It looks like crap?  Doesn’t matter. Gather a bunch of papers and little mementos from your life together this past year, glue it on construction paper around a picture of the two of you and she will positively swoon. You’ll see. You can also add the high value presentation gifts here from places like Shutterfly and Moonpig. These websites let you upload your photos, type your message, add as much flash as you like, and presto! They will create a customized card, poster, t-shirt, you name it for you. You’ll need to expedite shipping now – so hurry.

2.  Hard. Intricate or detailed works, too. Create a scavenger hunt to take her to all of your favorite couple’s spots around town.  Recreate the first date you had. Take her to the same restaurant with the same walk on the beach.  Or, order in the same food, and rent the movie you saw on that first date or the day you asked her to marry you.  Take the time to set the table.  It is crazy how much women love a set table.  If you drop a few candy hearts or flower petals on the table, watch out!  Find that special kind of cookie/champagne/cheese/liverwurst (if she loves it, who cares what it is?) that you had on your honeymoon/first date/trip to Scotland, and order it online. You need time for this to be delivered. This will tell her: a) you pay attention enough to know she likes ____, b) you took the time to order it especially for her, and c) you love her enough to plan ahead. Yes, planning = love.  Do not try to make too much sense out of it, just trust me.

3. Expensive.  Buy her something amazing – something she wants. Diamonds.  Silver.  Pearls.  Think Nicole Kidman from Moulin Rouge and you will be on the right track.  Please, please, please do NOT buy her expensive lingerie from La Perla – unless she has asked for this. That is a gift for you. How happy would you be if your girl gave you sexy lingerie that she would wear for you?  Right?  So that’s not your gift to her.  Think jewelry, a trip somewhere, perfume, shoes, a nice bag – all good choices.  Clothes: do not buy clothes. Unless she tells you EXACTLY what to get, you run the risk of buying something she hates, or buying her the wrong size. You really cannot win here.  Too small?  “What the hell makes you think I can fit into that? If you’re looking for a woman this skinny, why are you with me?”  Too big? “Just exactly how fat do you think I am?”  Or for either, the worst is, “You don’t know me at all!”  No, no clothes.

4. Flashy or Showy.  This is where flowers fall – at least if you have them sent to her work.  Remember that one of the best things about Valentine’s Day is being able to show off your butch or guy.  Flowers at work say to all of her coworkers, “I have someone who loves me enough to send me flowers.”  Translation, my butch is better than yours.  Send a giant bouquet of flowers to her office so she can show you off.  Roses are great if she likes them, but they are really expensive this time of year, so if she loves another flower, send those.  It will look creative and save you some cash.  Do not leave the card up to the college kid at the flower shop.  Put something on there that will make her smile or show her you love her.  Don’t worry about the college kid writing it down.  He isn’t trying to keep your woman happy, so who cares what he thinks?

5. The Event.  Drinks.  Dinner.  A club (even dancing, gasp!).  A movie at the fancy theater, museum, or exhibit that she has been looking forward to seeing.  Note that you can earn extra points and make her feel extra special by doing something that you do not want to do.  Think indie film, chick flick, an exhibit on purses throughout the ages, a flower show … you get the idea.  Or, by getting you into somewhere that is difficult – the “it” restaurant or club.  Plan ahead and get a table.  Remember, planning = love.

6. Manual Labor.  Yes, that’s right.  Along the lines of “The Event” category, do some things for her that you hate to do.  Do the dishes, put away the laundry, clean the house – all before she gets home from work.  Tell her that you are taking her car that morning and go have it serviced and detailed for her.  There are probably a slew of things that your woman would be ecstatic about if you did them for her.  This does not mean that you can do something dude-like that you should already have been doing and call it a Valentine’s Day present.  Do not  unload the dishwasher or clear the table, or for guys, put down the toilet seat, and announce that as your gift.  Poof! Now you’re single.

7. Pampering.  Think manicures, pedicures and massages.  Give her a gift certificate to the spa for the day.  Or… paint her toenails yourself.  I promise that if you rub her feet and then do this for her, she will melt.  Also, a massage is fool-proof.  Tell her that her gift is a massage, and that you do not expect one in return.  Then go all out.  Light candles, turn on music, and give the massage.  Extra touches are key.  Remember, she needs to feel special.  The harder it is for you and the more awkward that you feel doing it, the better!

So pick one of these 7 categories – at least one. More than one is platinum. You have to make her feel special. Girls need to know that you thought hard, planned carefully, or spent a lot of time or money on them.  No matter which of the above options you choose, you MUST write a card. Do not rely on the pre-printed text alone, even if you think it says exactly what you want to say, only better than you would say it. Sure, the card itself is important, so choose wisely. Stick with romantic or cute – make sure it’s not for your grandmother.  But add your own spin to it.  Love her eyes? Great, tell her.  Love her body?  Only tell her that if you add stuff about her heart and mind, too.  She doesn’t think purely physical, so neither should you.

Ignore me at your peril. Butches and straight guys:  take care of your woman if you want her, and therefore you, to be happy.  She might want totally different things than you do, but that’s part of why you love her.  A card and little teddy bear from 7-11 says exactly what you do not want to say — I did not have time/love you enough/care enough to do something special for you.  Get your act together and show her how much you love her!  And, if your woman sent you this post, you better take note, get busy and use this as a checklist.

Prove how butch you are by showing her how much you love her.  Want to make sure that you do not end up alone on Valentine’s Day?  It’s up to you.

It’s butch to make your femme feel really special on Valentine’s Day. Be butch.


Why You Should Buy a Butch a Bow Tie for Valentine’s Day

I’m excited to share that I am now in print. Actual print. Like, you can pick it up and read my article in your hands. On paper. A local magazine called Gay San Diego asked me to write a Valentine’s Day piece. About bow ties. Turns out I am the Feature on page 3, and listed on the front page. Very exciting. For those of you not in SD, here is the digital copy…

Gay San Diego

As I’ve said before, it’s butch to wear a bow tie. Be Butch.

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Mrs. Jaxon

I am sitting in a tower suite at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas staring at Mrs. Jaxon. And, by Mrs. Jaxon, I do not mean my mother (hi, mom!). No, I mean my wife. We are here on our honeymoon. That’s right. Honeymoon. You know the amazing woman who answered my call out to the Universe? I wrote about her. Well, given that we were both hopelessly in love, I asked her to marry me a couple months ago – right about the time that my posts slowed down – and, well, she said yes. We got married last Saturday. And I couldn’t be happier.

When I have important really personal things going on, good or bad, I tend to retreat a little bit. I am sure you understand that it’s not my style to process those kinds of things here. I tend to process and then share later – once things are settled. Others do it differently, and I totally respect that. I always want to save my first thoughts, or my truest self for my family and friends. I can share with you all once those things are processed and shared in real life. So, proposal, wedding planning, and marriage are settled. And, now I can share.

OHMYGODYOUGUYS! I am married! In the coming weeks, I will share about what happened. I have lots of things to say about getting married from the Butch perspective. For example, I decided that I was neither the bride, nor the groom. Instead, I claim “Broom.” I’ll tell you how that went down next.

It’s Butch to “marry that woman already” (as one of my besties said). Be Butch.


Poem + Tweet = Peep

I’ve started writing short little poems on Twitter. To be a tweet, it must be 140 characters or less. This is creating a new kind of poetry. I’ve seen others play with it and I like it. Kind of ee cummings meets haiku.

You have to be brief, and use space, punctuation, capitalization, and line breaks effectively.

Since most of you don’t follow me on Twitter, I thought I’d glue them together here in a post. Here are 7 that I’ve written so far.

20130825-171046.jpgONE

your gorgeous
blue eyes
flash:burn:cut
through my
defenses:fear:pride
leaving me laid
bare:open:breathless
in anticipation of
what awaits

TWO

When we are
Together
Time flies by
When we are
Apart
It moves achingly
Slowly
Would that I could
Slow
And speed
Time
At my whim

THREE

Red:lips
Pink:cheeks
Orange:passion
Blonde:attitude
Green:innocence
Blue:eyes
Pale:skin
The colors of my love

FOUR

Cold
Open
Space
In bed
Where you should be

Missing you
A full time job
No
Thank you

Endlessly waiting
For you to appear
To fill this space

FIVE

You gorgeous
Open and trusting
Kind and distracting
So Damn Sexy

Me lucky
Satisfying you
Appreciative
Devoted

Us … happy

SIX

Peanut butter:jelly
Atoms:electrons
Waves:shore
Rubber:road
Grass:earth
Peas:pod
Sound:air
You:me
Nothing between
No spaces
None
At all

SEVEN

She uses
Crazy
Madly
Deeply
and
Always
To define her love

I cross my fingers
Close my eyes
Please
Please
Please
Let her be right

What do you think of this new, drastically abbreviated kind of poetry?

It’s Butch to find new ways to express yourself. Be Butch.


DOMA Struck Down! Prop 8 is Dead!

We won. Any gay couple legally married in a state will now be recognized by Feds (1138 more rights). Prop 8 was properly decided by Judge Van Walker. Let the marriages begin! We should be ecstatic. Yes, work to do, but don’t let that diminish our joy today. America is more equal today than it was yesterday.


The Butchest Movies of All Time

Purely for fun, I’d like to do a series of lists of the “butchest” whatever. Movies, bands, tv shows, books, paintings, cars, sports, tools, beers, etc. This is super scientific, of course, and if you don’t like the things on these lists, then you aren’t butch. For example, if you don’t particularly like Jaws, and you adore musicals (cough), then you can’t be butch.
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I mean – we know that’s lame right? So let’s have some fun. My favorite movie is Moulin Rouge, by the way, so I don’t know that I speak for the butch community, but while I have the mic…

1. The Godfather – Clearly this is the butchest movie of all time. Right? You are either part of the family (butch-femme) or not. Go to the mattresses. Horse head in the bed? Really? I note that it’s not on my list of favorites, but I’m pretty sure it tops the butchest list.

2. Terminator – Every butch reading this must admit Arnold was the quintessential badass in that movie. How about walking down the hallway and pulling that shotgun out of the box of roses and the crushing them under those rad biker boots we all own or wish we did? And let’s not even talk about Linda Hamilton’s arms and shoulders in the second one. Want!

3. Ace Ventura, Pet Detective – This is one of the best comedies of all time. You can disagree with me, that’s cool. I’ll be over here watching the funniest actor ever doing crazy stuff, rescuing animals, and oh yeah…sleeping with Courtney Cox. And, you’ll have to forgive me while I recite every line. Loser.

4. Batman – Any of them. A billionaire playboy vigilante with the absolutely coolest toys of all time? Body armor with nipples? Everything is all black? When he’s not in his body armor, its almost always a gorgeous tux and bow tie. Yes please. Plus, there’s always gobs of super models around him. I so want to be Batman, even if it means getting chased by Heath Ledger’s Joker (much scarier than Jack’s).

5. High Noon – For my dad. I dare you to prove me wrong. Cowboys, honor, dirt, gangs of ruffians. Me and my dad will be ready for you over at the OK Corral. Come say it to our faces.

6. Bad Boys – You know you are singing the theme song right now. Cops, Miami, chase scenes, explosions. Still not convinced? Two words: Tia Leoni. Drop the mic.

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7. Jaws – Now, I know you are all, “Butch, don’t be a size queen, we don’t need a bigger boat.” Yes, yes we do. We always need a bigger boat! Good rule of thumb, your boat should be at least twice the size of whatever you are hunting – or whatever is hunting you. Same thing for Orca. And how many times have you compared scars with another butch – preferably when your girl is present?

8. Alien – Sigourney Weaver in a muscle tank beating the crap out of the mama alien in that industrial robot contraption. How about when they are face to nasty-scary-double-jaw? Come on! Plus, she is all dirty and messed up. Honorable mention here to Helen Hunt in Twister for the same dirty t-shirt situation (plus hers is wet). Sigh.

9. Silence of the Lambs – How ridiculous is our girl Jodie Foster in this movie? Get it! I can barely watch this movie, it’s so scary. I yell at the TV, don’t go in the house, Jodie! Wait for SWAT! She’s too butch to listen.

Special Note for All Scary Movies: Do not forget the protection factor. This is the scientific formula whereby your girl will squish more and more into you the scarier or weirder the movie gets. I don’t like scary movies, but the squishing, accompanied by my arm draped around her and a comforting squeeze (“I’ve got you, baby”) can make it worth it. Am I right? She doesn’t have to know I’m closing my eyes.

10. Anything Starring Angelina Jolie – Just because. Preferably when she’s got a gun and is kicking ass, ala TombRaider, Gone in 60 Seconds, or Salt. But Gia works, too.

Some suggestions from my Butches:

11. Fight Club – First rule of Fight Club, it’s super butch. I haven’t seen it (gasp), so I’ll take my butches’ word for it.

12. GI Jane – Femmes playing butch are super hot. Has there ever been a better example of this than Demi in cammos, with a shaved head, getting ripped and kicking ass? I think not.

13. Set It Off – Queen Latifah plays a lesbian. Apparently, there’s a good sex scene. Haven’t seen this. Yet. Or if I have (vaguely recall it), then I guess I disagree.

14. Steel Magnolias – what can I say? Butches are complicated and multi-layered. I don’t agree, but several butch bros were all about this one. It’s a great movie and I know a lot of lines, but I say chick flick.

15. Bound – Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly. Swoon. Both of them are crazy hot, but together? In a mafia type drama? Come on!

Anything missing? It’s butch to participate in silly, arbitrary lists of things that are the “butchest” and to use the word “silly.” Be Butch.


Three Lesbians Walk Into a Strip Club

Vegas' OG strip club

Vegas’ OG strip club

So, in my last post I left off with the statement, “Umm, how about a strip club?” Well…

Yes! We had a winner. Into a cab we piled and headed way off the strip to Olympic Gardens. I’ve never been here before, but it’s a bit of a Vegas institution. The bottom floor is women strippers, and the top is men. Something for everyone. As we got into cab, the bellman said, “OG.” I took it as a compliment. Yeah, we are original gangsters because – you know – we were rolling like that. LOL. I mean, really. Three white lesbians cocked and ready to go.  Oh yea.

No, Butch, you lame ass. That’s what they call the club. So, off to OG we “rolled.”

Now, I have been to plenty of strip clubs in my day. Enough to relax about it. But, being single. Being in Vegas. With good friends. I got excited. Like when you are about-to-board-a-roller-coaster excited. In we went, slightly (fairly?) intoxicated.

I imagine that a few of you reading this might never have been to a strip club – perish the thought! As I have written before, I am available to be your wingman or tour guide for such an outing. Or, better yet, take your girlfriend – that’s hot. In the meantime, allow me to set the stage – so to speak. I mean, you won’t find Butch dancing on any poles – at least not in public!

All the strip clubs I have been to are laid out the same. There is a long dark hallway leading up to the entrance. Some have a cover charge you’ll pay when you show your ID and others do not. If they do not, they might have a two drink minimum, or maybe not. OG has a cover. Once paid and our IDs were checked, we moved into the club proper, also dark, though lighter than the hallway. Usually near the door is a bar, and a cashier. Past that is the main body of the club. A stage in the center of the room, with a varying number of poles for dancers. Flanking the stage will be front row seats. Further back from the stage, you will find tables and chairs, and still further back in the shadows, you will find booths. Sometimes, there are also back rooms and curtained off areas. I would avoid those for sure – no matter how nice the club is. But of course, to each her own.

Our first stop was for singles from the cashier – I got a lot. Second, my friend has found the perfect spot by the stage. At OG, there are 4 poles on the stage, but it looks like at any given time on this evening, only one will be in use. I kid you not, that within one dancer (a set of three songs) of us being there, every stripper used the pole right in front of us. And, do you know why? Because we were a group of lesbians. Respectful, well-behaved lesbians. And we were all tipping. So politely, too. The strippers must have sent up a flare. “OVER HERE! Kind Lesbians who won’t grope you. Dance over here, Ladies!”

A lovely, hard-working woman on a pole. Do you know how hard this is to do?

A lovely, hard-working woman on a pole. Do you know how hard this is to do?

And they did. And we didn’t. Lesbians must be the most respectful audience at a strip club. Why? We love women, so we pay attention. We love women, so we are respectful and super appreciative of: 1) how hard it is to move like that, 2) how difficult it is to stay looking like that, and 3) how gross it must be to dance for straight men all day. Sorry, guys. You must admit that strip clubs are not your best environment. You kinda come here to let loose, right? And, drop those gentlemanly manners of yours. Well, I don’t think that’s true for lesbians. At least not for me, and not for my friends.

So, we had lots of dancers focused on us. Stopping by, dancing close, of course, to encourage us to tip. The first dancer who came up to me asks me if I am single, and I said yes. My friends aren’t, so guess who got the most attention? This lesbian right here. How much fun was this! Beautiful women dancing for me, expecting nothing other than I pay attention and keep slipping ones into the various strings that they are wearing solely for this purpose. I’m not leaving here with a stripper. I’m not heading into any back room. Right? So, all I have to do is enjoy the femme attention. Oh, and keep paying for it with that big stack of ones in front of me. Done.

Now, as butch as I am, and as much as I like to pretend that I am a player (did I say pretend?), I am quite embarrassed to actually deliver the ones. I want to tip because I appreciate their work, but I am afraid to touch them because that seems so disrespectful. Thus, I have to be told that it is indeed ok to slide the dollar bill into the dancers’ g-string, or even better, they explain, into the special snappy string that they are wearing underneath the g-string. Yikes. [“Umm, where should I put it?” “Wherever you like, honey!”] After a few tries, I got it down. One dancer actually said to me when I verbalized my hesitation, “Honey! We are strippers, grab away. If you’ve got a one for me, slide it wherever you like!” I’m pretty sure I blushed – because, you know, I am just (not) that cool.

IMG_0315

As long as I’ve got my suit and tie…

So, there I am. All dressed up (three piece navy blue suit, dress shirt, bow tie, cufflinks, etc.). With good friends. Drinking. And, having a procession of young, attractive women with lithe bodies doting on us and me. Sigh. Some of you will think me a pig, I realize, and that’s ok. I had fun and if you don’t like it, so be it.

I finally had the nerve to get a lap dance. First time in my life.  The dancer had come over almost as soon as we sat down and started chatting me up. As you do. Anyway, later in the evening, I decided to go for it. We headed over to one of those couches – remember the ones that are just past the tables and more in shadows?

There was a lot, a lot, of chatting at the start, something I’m sure is not normal with male patrons. The stripper told me all about her family and why she was dancing. Then she shifted to the main event and started to dance kind of around, in front, and over me. It lasted longer than I thought it would, even though I bought a second dance.

When I went back to my friends, they peppered me with questions. How was it? Was it worth it? How do you feel? Blushing, I am pretty sure, I answered that it was nice. Much more intimate than I expected, but not gross. I got roundly teased and then we all turned our attention back to the dancers on stage. Those ones won’t tip themselves!

As we left the club, that dancer ran up to me and gave me a hug. She was topless as she had just left the patron (male, natch) that she was with and came to say goodbye to us. I guess we left an impression on her and others. What with being polite, respectful, and good tippers. Plus, we stood out. A group of very tall lesbians, including a few Butches. Anyway, I was proud of our group, but I suspect that this would be the case with any posse of lesbos. We are just so different in this environment from our male counterparts, and these, dancers, erm, strippers (“Honey!”) appreciated us – or maybe just our ones. :o)

It’s very butch to hit a strip club, and even more butch to make sure you tip well and treat the dancers like angels (such a hard job…). Be Butch.


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