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Win Tickets to The Dinah!

I’m excited to be able to run my first contest. And it’s not for a free CD or tshirt – not that I don’t love free CDs and tshirts. I mean, everyone loves a free tshirt. Just look how the crowd absolutely loses its (collective) mind when someone starts throwing tshirts from the stage. You’ll never wear it, but you are ready to kill for it. You know what I am talking about.

But no, this isn’t a tshirt. I get to give away two sets of Weekend Passes for The Dinah this year in Palm Springs! This contest is for the first set of Weekend Passes. I have another contest planned for the second set. Can you hear the dramatic music in the background? Anyway, how do you win these tickets?

All you have to do is post a picture of you all dressed up in your outfit for the Black Party on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram holding the ButchOnTap logo. Just print it out or if you are tech savvy, add it to your image (like mine below). You can get the logo here if you are a WordPress user, here for FB users, and here on Twitter. Sidenote: Isn’t my logo badass?

DinahByBOT

To recap…

1. Get dressed up and get a picture with the logo.

2. Share your picture with the world in one of 3 ways:

– Post it on the BOT Facebook page and use the hashtag #DinahByBOT

– Tweet the picture on Twitter tagging @ButchOnTap and use the hashtag #DinahByBOT

– Post the picture on Instagram tagging @ButchOnTap and use the hashtag #DinahByBOT

Bonus points –> If you do all 3, I’ll enter you 3 times.

Karma points –> Wear a bow tie and you’ll make me smile.

Get it up by Monday, February 8th (at midnight, says the lawyer). Oh, and you have to be 21, and get to the event yourself. This is just the tickets to get into the event. The winner will be picked by me at my sole discretion. Right. Ready? Go!

It’s Butch to get dressed up and compete for free tickets. Be Butch!


20 (Selected) Things I Love About My Wife

Perhaps it is telling that I started this post as 10 things. I had to keep going. And, I could keep going further. But blog best practices suggest that lists should be limited to 10. I think double-flouting that is enough rebellion. Plus, she might get a big head if I listed 30 things. 25 things would be safe, maybe 26, but not 30. So, I give you 20 (selected) things that I love about my wife.

20 Things I Love About My Wife

  1. The Scottish lilt of her voice
  2. Her total devotion to her friends and family
  3. Everything, absolutely everything, about her body
  4. Her colorful and fun sense of style
  5. The passion she has for the sea and all of its inhabitants
  6. Her stunning eyes – with no makeup and with dramatic cat eye makeup
  7. The way she remembers everything and is so thoughtful with details I seem to forget
  8. Her brilliant mind
  9. The fact that she laughs at almost all of my jokes
  10. Her ability to wear heels and other uncomfortable clothing gracefully
  11. The way she holds my hand – actively squeezing, rather than lazily
  12. Her inability to tell a striker from a quarterback
  13. The way she drapes herself over me and fits no matter how small the available space
  14. Her crinkled up nose and other funny faces
  15. The fact that she will grab the screwdriver to tackle a project if I am not fast enough, but stills sees me as big, strong and capable
  16. Her passion for life
  17. How sparkly she is
  18. The unjaded way she sees the world
  19. Her laughter, and her tears
  20. And, last but certainly not least, the fact that she loves me

It’s Butch to proclaim your love loudly, even if you don’t have a blog on which to do it. Be Butch. 


DJ Mary Mac to Spin at The Dinah

  Club Skirts Dinah Shore Weekend has just added NY-based DJ Mary Mac to its 2016 roster. The international DJ is slated to bring her limitless talent and magnetic personality to the largest lesbian event in the world: The Dinah.

Mary Mac is an icon and pioneer for female DJs. Her impressive DJ chops has taken her around the globe to spin for world-class events and celebrities. 

From her origins touring with Def Jam to her residencies at upscale nightclubs across the globe, DJ Mary Mac has arrived! Early on, DJ Mary Mac was inspired by Grandmaster Flash, DJ Camilo, and DJ Yoni to create and perform exuberant, addictive sets. While DJing for a trailblazing female gangsta rapper, Mary Mac was embraced by NWA, Easy-E, and Snoop Dogg as one of their own.

Now, with a combination of passion and cultural music influences from her Haitian background, Mary Mac stands as an irrepressible force and is one of the most sought-after female DJs.
Catch her behind the turntables the Dinah. For more information go to: http://www.thedinah.com


Clark Kent > Superman

  


Butch: My New Permanent (marker) Tattoo

Tonight, while writing our Christmas cards, my wife got bored and started drawing on my arm with a pen. What did she write? “Butch,” of course. Just like Lea Delaria.

Now, I would never claim to be as Butch as Lea. Nor would I claim to be as talented a singer as Lea. I would never claim to be as funny as Lea. And obviously, I am nowhere near as famous as Lea.

But then, I have interviewed her. I have had drinks with her. I am taller than her. And, I do drink better beer than she does…  At any rate, I am a huge fan of Lea’s. She is one of my heroes. Really, only one of a very few Butches that I look up to. So, when I saw the tattoo that Lea has on her arm on my own arm, I of course said, “Grab the camera!”

The following ensued…

  

  And, because I feel ridiculous when I try to “look sexy” or even “look extra Butch” for that matter, so did this…


  
I may not be as Butch as Lea, but I am Butch enough for me. It’s Butch to proclaim your Butchness in whatever way you see fit. Be Butch.  


How Californians Take the Dog Out in the Rain

  


All Elle (the) King!

    

She’s dominating the airwaves and ruling the Billboard charts with her foot-stompin’ hit single “Exs & Ohs”, but Elle King’s world domination has only just begun. She just received her first Grammy Nominations in not one but two categories “Best Rock Performance” and “Best Rock Song.” The platinum blonde with the free-spirited personality, loads of rad tattoos and the perfect rebel attitude to go with it has already become a household name.

Now the self-described soulful rock’n roll artist who plays lots of banjo and a mean guitar is set to conquer the largest lesbian event in the world with a headlining performance at the epic Dinah Shore Weekend in Palm Springs, CA.

Elle King is having more than a breakout year. A force to be reckoned with, her sound shook up the music scene with her bluesy pop/rock anthem to ‘badass bitches’ (her words), “Exs & Ohs,” the lead single off of her 2015 debut album “Love Stuff.”

“Ex’s & Oh’s” was recently certified platinum by the RIAA, and has topped the radio charts at #1 at 3 formats – Alternative, AAA and Hot AC. “Ex’s & Oh’s” has been Top 10 on the Billboard Digital Songs Chart for the last 10 weeks, #1 on the iTunes Alternative Songs Chart for 13 weeks, #1 on the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart for 8 weeks and #4 most viral track of 2015 on Spotify.

The Brooklyn-based rock, blues-pop singer made history when her infectiously catchy rockabilly single hit the #1 spot on Billboard’s Alternative Chart – making her the second woman in two decades to achieve that feat (the other artist being Lorde with her 2013 tune “Royals”).

Raised on everyone from AC/DC to Elvis Presley and Dolly Parton, the sexy sassy blonde with that raspy voice a la Janis Joplin, blends blues, country, rock, soul, and honky-tonk into a sound that’s uniquely Elle.

She’s arrived and is definitely here to stay. But King’s music reign didn’t happen overnight, and she’s certainly paid her dues!

After years of playing small gigs in New York City when she was only sixteen, the Ohio-raised singer finally landed a major record deal with RCA in 2012. She released the critically acclaimed “The Elle King EP,” which produced the single “Playing for Keeps” that was picked up as the theme to VH1’s “Mob Wives Chicago,” and made her broadcast television debut on the “Late Show with David Letterman.”

Entertainment Weekly just named Elle King “Rock’s New Badass,” and she has been described by The New York Times as “a sassy, hard-drinking, love-’em-and-leave-’em hellion with bad tattoos and a broad pedigree across rock, pop and country. She has Adele’s determination and Joan Jett’s stomp, Brenda Lee’s high-voiced bite and some AC/DC shriek,” and she has been featured by The Wall Street Journal, Entertainment Weekly, Teen Vogue, People Magazine, Cosmopolitan, USA Today, and many more.

She debuted “Ex’s & Oh’s” on Late Night with Seth Meyers and has also performed on the season finale of Dancing with The Stars, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Today Show, Late Late Show with James Corden, Live with Kelly and Michael, Jimmy Kimmel Live, The Talk and VH1 Big Morning Buzz Live, and VH1 Big in 2015, in support of her debut LOVE STUFF which has received overwhelming critical acclaim. 

Who else names her debut album after a sex shop in Florida (true story), picks up the banjo (of all instruments) after seeing a cute boy in Philly play it, and then writes her first real song on it, which got her signed?

She’s toured with James Bay and Ed Sheeran, appeared at festivals like Lollapalooza and Bonnaroo, and sold out her first two headlining tours.

Elle King oozes the kind of raw talent that is charismatic and leaves you wanting more; it’s electrifying and undeniably best experienced live!

Don’t miss her Dinah performance. If 2015 was the year she conquered, there’s already every indication that 2016 will be the year King will rule the music world!


Want Need Wear Read Christmas Challenge

 

moneysavingsisters.com


My wife shared this idea with me and I love it. The thinking is that kids get overwhelmed at Christmas if there are too many gifts. If you have kids, and are lucky enough to be able to buy gifts, you’ve seen it on Christmas morning: that glossy stare. It means, “I’ve gotten too much. It’s all wonderful, but I can’t remember it all already.” It breaks down into a very crowded tree, tons of packages, trying to keep up getting them opened, and months later some or many gifts not played with, worn, or used.

Yes, it’s hard not to give your kids gobs of gifts (if you are able), but what message are we sending them? How about doing something different? Give them something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read. See how it goes.

We are doing it this year and it has already changed things for us. Shopping is easier and we’ve spent less. Which category is that? If we don’t know or it’s none of the 4 (and doesn’t belong in a stocking), then we don’t buy it. I will let you know how well it is received. 

Have any of you done this or anything like it? Share what you’ve tried in the comments so we can learn from each other. 

It’s Butch to give your kids presents while teaching them gratitude. Be Butch. 


Cheddar Cheese Sticks

 
My wife is working on her PhD. She’s been researching, thinking, collecting, sampling, measuring, and writing for several years now. We are in the home stretch. Seriously. But it doesn’t feel like that to her. To my wife, she’s miles away from the end. And no wonder.

The whole process is miserable and demoralizing. By its very nature, a PhD requires you to answer a question that no one else in the world has answered. That means no one can really tell you if you are right, or what’s next. You are meant to advance science. But the process is brutal. You write about what you did and also what you didn’t do, what you did wrong, and what others can/should do different or better than you. No wonder she’s questioning her intellect. Why didn’t I do it this way from the start? So, it stands to reason that my wife is umm … stressed.

I know it. I see it. But, this morning brought a new level of understanding. I was feeling frisky. Very frisky. My wife, not so much. She basically said “fine.” What a turn on, right? I joked that maybe she shouldn’t talk, to which she wryly responded a moment later by suggesting we go over our shopping list. We laughed and then in a sultry voice she cooed, “Cheddar cheese sticks…”

We began to giggle. Then more robustly. Soon, she was laughing so hard she was crying. Then she was only crying. And apologizing. Poor baby. I held her until she was all cried out. Afterwards, we both felt better – more connected, comforted, though not quite satisfied. I’ll never understand the level of her stress, but I can understand the emotions that I see. My job now is to build her up. To tell her that the questions she’s asking herself about her work don’t apply to her – not to her intellect, her worth, or her self.

It’s Butch to build up your partner – PhD or not. Be Butch. 


Why Today Matters

 By now, you have heard that the US Supreme Court has ruled that marriage is a fundamental right and that gay and lesbian people are as deserving of that right as their straight neighbors and friends. As such, no state may restrict a gay or lesbian person’s right to get married. Well, despite the obvious Snoopy dance that I have been literally and figuratively dancing all day, I realize that maybe not everyone gets it.

I have seen a lot of celebration today from both my community and from allies. I have also seen a fair number of what I like to call now-can-we-focus-on-what-really-matters? comments. I agree that there is much work to be done. We need protection from being fired. We need protection from being kicked out of our homes, including the big home of the United States. We need protection in the adoption process, health care, and basically every government service you can think of. We still don’t have those national protections. There is much to be done. But today is a day for celebrating. Here’s why – from my perspective.

In 1993, I had a commitment ceremony with my partner at the time. It was a big deal and looked a lot like a wedding. I had friends back then who did not understand why we would want to do anything that looked like a wedding. That is for straights, they said. You aren’t straight, so why do you want to pretend to be a part of a system that rejects you? We did our best to explain it – over and over. In 2000, we registered officially in California as domestic partners. This was a huge step for many gays and lesbians because it was some sort of official recognition, albeit separate and unequal. Many people took advantage of this registration. In 2004, we rushed off to San Francisco to be legally wed. It was an incredibly exciting time because there was a feeling that all of the people involved were making history. We did make history, but not as legitimately married couples. All of the weddings performed were declared void (which held its own kind of pain), and the whole Proposition 8 nightmare began. Several years later, we separated and experienced the tremendous unfairness of not being married, but still having to go through a divorce, and all of the inequities dealt to both of us by the system.

In 2013, I met my wife. We fell madly in love. We knew that our relationship would be a challenge since she was not a US citizen. But, then that summer, the Supreme Court invalidated DOMA and Prop 8. That meant all Californians were free to marry.  The striking down of DOMA meant once married, we would be able to apply for immigration status. We got legally married late that year, and this time none of my friends asked why we would want to marry. Everyone understood. People fall in love, and some of those people want to get married. In early 2014, she became a legal green card holder. All thanks to the changes in the law – largely brought on by the marriage debate.

The tide has shifted so completely in the last 20+ years people of all walks of life now know how important marriage is. Not because it is the end-all and be-all of civil rights, but because it is an indication of normalcy, acceptance and finality. “They are married, just like we are, so that’s that.” “Of course they are a family, they are married with kids.” No longer can the question, “Is she a lesbian?” be answered with, “No, she’s married.”

If people are married, then of course they can visit each other in the hospital. If two parents are married, then of course they can both come to the parent-teacher conference. Married couples rent apartments and buy cars. They open savings accounts, and go to the doctor. Marriage was never an end, it was a means to an end. And that end is equality. Lesbians and gays who are married get to be treated the same way as straights who are married. Of course she gets to inherit that house, they were married! Do you see what I mean?

To those of you in the LGBT community who don’t want to get married, great! No need for you to do so. Be excited, though, that you can. You are no longer excluded from an institution and the multitude of rights that are automatically bestowed on people who are part of that institution.

To those of you who are offended that my wife and I are now legally married in every state in the union, I feel sorry for you. You are on the wrong side of history. And if you cannot see that, take comfort in the fact that no one will ever force you to marry someone of the same-sex. Nor will anyone force your church to perform such marriages. Don’t worry; the same constitution that grants me the fundamental right to marry, also protects your fundamental right to hate me for it. I hope that you won’t, but I will defend your right to think and speak how you wish.

It’s Butch to support equality. Be Butch.


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