Tag Archives: butch

Burn It All Down

I have been out and visible since I was 18. I came out through the fire of a fanatical Christian cult (still hard to admit). I have been an out lesbian, dyke, butch, in all its glorious splendor for almost 30 years. I have fought first for gay rights, then lesbian and gay rights, then LGBT rights, and, most recently, queer rights. I have participated in civil rights rallies for Latinos and African Americans. I have protested attempts to restrict a woman’s right to choose. I have fought for change in the legal and corporate world. On the one hand, I am a liberal feminist, bordering on fanatical, adamant for equal rights for all. Since I’ve never been arrested protesting, I don’t think I get to be “radical.”

On the other hand, I am a daughter, a wife, a mother, a neighbor, a friend, and an employee. And the thought that someone might harm my mother and father, wife, kids, neighbors, friends, or coworkers makes me want to burn that person’s village to the ground. I want to climb to the top of something very high and pick off those who would harm me or mine with methodical precision. And doing so would most likely require one of these “military grade” “semi-automatic” weapons. Who am I kidding? I would want a weapon that rivals anything Dead Pool or Batman might have access to. 

That is how I feel right now. I want to find a way to identify everyone that wants to harm my many-layered community and unceremoniously remove them from existence. Punish them for their hatred by taking out anyone “they” love and then them. The anger is blinding. I want to burn it all down. 

But here is the thing. I will never burn it all down. I will never climb to the top of anything high and pick off anyone. Unless of course, social media counts as a high point and my words can be considered the weapon.

The irony, the absolutely ridiculous and beautiful irony of America is that “they” have the right to hate me. “They” have the right to try and change the laws to make my life uncomfortable. “They” have the right to shout at the top of their lungs in a public square, “I hate you, Butch. I despise you and your equality, your gayness, your lack of conformity!” Yes, “they” get to say whatever the hell “they” want. And to think whatever “they” want. And so do I.

Maybe the paradox of our free-speech, free-religion society is that the more rights we have individually, the more important it is that we not have guns. Or rather, if you will, that “they” not have guns. Fair enough. Now, if we could just figure out who “they” are.

Imagine this (tortured) example…I am standing in a public square eloquently shouting my beliefs of equality and fairness to an LGBT crowd. On the other side of the square, “they” stand shouting that a woman’s place is in the home, homosexuality is a sin, and extolling the virtues of white pride. Everyone in the square has a gun – of any type. How does this rally end?

When Mateen walked into Pulse, he used weapons of mass destruction on a micro scale. He did not use freedom of religion. He was not exercising his constitutional right to hate. He brought down a permanent and unappealable sentence on hundreds of people based on his hatred. He should not be able to do that. It should be very, very hard to do that. Or impossible even. 

Since he (and all of us) has the right to hate, we must remove the awful temptation to turn that hate into violent action. Without a gun, he’s just a homophobic asshole. With one, he is a homicidal maniac. No one should be allowed to burn it all down.

We suck at this. America needs to get better. Right now. The rest of the world already thinks we are idiots. We have such resolve, such strength. Why can’t we work together to change this landscape once and for all?

It’s Butch to fight the urge to burn it all down. Be Butch.


The Sir-offender

I’ve got a new post up over on the Huffington Post. Will you go check it out for me? Maybe like it so the good folks at HuffPost know some people read what I write?

It’s Butch to support ButchOnTap on Huffington Post. Be Butch. 


Butch’s Adventures with TSA: Forbidden Words

It’s time for another episode of Butch’s Adventures with TSA. In today’s tale, we learn about those forbidden words.

After smooth sailing through the millimeter wave image monster (no doubt because I sing-songed my hello to the agent staffing the magic pink and blue buttons), I collected my stuff from the belt. 

The benches were full of travelers getting dressed, so I moved over to the table where they do they bomb swipey thing. As I was grabbing the only liquid I had removed from my batchel – a tiny travel cologne flask – I noticed an agent I like.

Me: How’s my favorite TSA agent today?

Agent: Good! It’s my Friday. 

Me: (sprays cologne) Mine too!

Agent: That smells good… What is it?

Me: Spicebomb. Oh. Can I say that here?

Agent: (laughs)

Me: You should see the bottle. 

Agent: Do you carry it? (Eyes my bag)

Me: I stopped after I got pulled for search the second time.

Agent: (laughs) Have a great trip!

There you go. A nice TSA agent who has a sense of humor.

It’s Butch to be nice to the TSA even when they’ve not always been nice to you. Be Butch. 

  


Notes from 18C

Hi BOTs.

A few random thoughts for you as I sit in my seat on the plane. 

1. Couldn’t find a parking spot this morning. Being late and having to park closer to the airport isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Also, no one is leaving the airport at 6:30 am. 

2. Been called “sir” twice already. Yes, I am a big Butch wearing a bow tie, but it’s only inches above a giant chest (of boobs).

3. TSA was in full effect, making me pass through the imaging machine twice. I don’t have male parts and they can’t seem to get this.

4. The days of empty seats beside you on planes are gone. Unless you are a big Butch in a bow tie. Then, you frequently get an empty seat. Hahaha. 

5. People who need coffee are in a bit of a club. You can seriously bond over your latte. Especially when you had time to get one and 19C didn’t.

6. Carrying your wife’s license and credit card so she can forgo a bag for the day is gallant, but you should check your wallet before you leave for a few days. I’m sorry, Gorgeous.

7. Selena Gomez’s Hands to Myself is a really good song. “I mean I could, but why would I want to?”

8. I’m finding writing to be a bit of a challenge right now. I keep thinking of things to write about and then dismissing them. So, that means not much creativity making it to the page. 

Bear with me while I try to press through it?

It’s Butch to press on. Be Butch. 


And the Winner is…

Tonight, I drew the winner of The Dinah weekend pass giveaway. Check out the video as the drama unfolds. 

It’s Butch to enter contests with ButchOnTap. Thanks for Being Butch!


Win Tickets to The Dinah!

I’m excited to be able to run my first contest. And it’s not for a free CD or tshirt – not that I don’t love free CDs and tshirts. I mean, everyone loves a free tshirt. Just look how the crowd absolutely loses its (collective) mind when someone starts throwing tshirts from the stage. You’ll never wear it, but you are ready to kill for it. You know what I am talking about.

But no, this isn’t a tshirt. I get to give away two sets of Weekend Passes for The Dinah this year in Palm Springs! This contest is for the first set of Weekend Passes. I have another contest planned for the second set. Can you hear the dramatic music in the background? Anyway, how do you win these tickets?

All you have to do is post a picture of you all dressed up in your outfit for the Black Party on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram holding the ButchOnTap logo. Just print it out or if you are tech savvy, add it to your image (like mine below). You can get the logo here if you are a WordPress user, here for FB users, and here on Twitter. Sidenote: Isn’t my logo badass?

DinahByBOT

To recap…

1. Get dressed up and get a picture with the logo.

2. Share your picture with the world in one of 3 ways:

– Post it on the BOT Facebook page and use the hashtag #DinahByBOT

– Tweet the picture on Twitter tagging @ButchOnTap and use the hashtag #DinahByBOT

– Post the picture on Instagram tagging @ButchOnTap and use the hashtag #DinahByBOT

Bonus points –> If you do all 3, I’ll enter you 3 times.

Karma points –> Wear a bow tie and you’ll make me smile.

Get it up by Monday, February 8th (at midnight, says the lawyer). Oh, and you have to be 21, and get to the event yourself. This is just the tickets to get into the event. The winner will be picked by me at my sole discretion. Right. Ready? Go!

It’s Butch to get dressed up and compete for free tickets. Be Butch!


20 (Selected) Things I Love About My Wife

Perhaps it is telling that I started this post as 10 things. I had to keep going. And, I could keep going further. But blog best practices suggest that lists should be limited to 10. I think double-flouting that is enough rebellion. Plus, she might get a big head if I listed 30 things. 25 things would be safe, maybe 26, but not 30. So, I give you 20 (selected) things that I love about my wife.

20 Things I Love About My Wife

  1. The Scottish lilt of her voice
  2. Her total devotion to her friends and family
  3. Everything, absolutely everything, about her body
  4. Her colorful and fun sense of style
  5. The passion she has for the sea and all of its inhabitants
  6. Her stunning eyes – with no makeup and with dramatic cat eye makeup
  7. The way she remembers everything and is so thoughtful with details I seem to forget
  8. Her brilliant mind
  9. The fact that she laughs at almost all of my jokes
  10. Her ability to wear heels and other uncomfortable clothing gracefully
  11. The way she holds my hand – actively squeezing, rather than lazily
  12. Her inability to tell a striker from a quarterback
  13. The way she drapes herself over me and fits no matter how small the available space
  14. Her crinkled up nose and other funny faces
  15. The fact that she will grab the screwdriver to tackle a project if I am not fast enough, but stills sees me as big, strong and capable
  16. Her passion for life
  17. How sparkly she is
  18. The unjaded way she sees the world
  19. Her laughter, and her tears
  20. And, last but certainly not least, the fact that she loves me

It’s Butch to proclaim your love loudly, even if you don’t have a blog on which to do it. Be Butch. 


Butch: My New Permanent (marker) Tattoo

Tonight, while writing our Christmas cards, my wife got bored and started drawing on my arm with a pen. What did she write? “Butch,” of course. Just like Lea Delaria.

Now, I would never claim to be as Butch as Lea. Nor would I claim to be as talented a singer as Lea. I would never claim to be as funny as Lea. And obviously, I am nowhere near as famous as Lea.

But then, I have interviewed her. I have had drinks with her. I am taller than her. And, I do drink better beer than she does…  At any rate, I am a huge fan of Lea’s. She is one of my heroes. Really, only one of a very few Butches that I look up to. So, when I saw the tattoo that Lea has on her arm on my own arm, I of course said, “Grab the camera!”

The following ensued…

  

  And, because I feel ridiculous when I try to “look sexy” or even “look extra Butch” for that matter, so did this…


  
I may not be as Butch as Lea, but I am Butch enough for me. It’s Butch to proclaim your Butchness in whatever way you see fit. Be Butch.  


How Californians Take the Dog Out in the Rain

  


All Elle (the) King!

    

She’s dominating the airwaves and ruling the Billboard charts with her foot-stompin’ hit single “Exs & Ohs”, but Elle King’s world domination has only just begun. She just received her first Grammy Nominations in not one but two categories “Best Rock Performance” and “Best Rock Song.” The platinum blonde with the free-spirited personality, loads of rad tattoos and the perfect rebel attitude to go with it has already become a household name.

Now the self-described soulful rock’n roll artist who plays lots of banjo and a mean guitar is set to conquer the largest lesbian event in the world with a headlining performance at the epic Dinah Shore Weekend in Palm Springs, CA.

Elle King is having more than a breakout year. A force to be reckoned with, her sound shook up the music scene with her bluesy pop/rock anthem to ‘badass bitches’ (her words), “Exs & Ohs,” the lead single off of her 2015 debut album “Love Stuff.”

“Ex’s & Oh’s” was recently certified platinum by the RIAA, and has topped the radio charts at #1 at 3 formats – Alternative, AAA and Hot AC. “Ex’s & Oh’s” has been Top 10 on the Billboard Digital Songs Chart for the last 10 weeks, #1 on the iTunes Alternative Songs Chart for 13 weeks, #1 on the Billboard Hot Rock Songs chart for 8 weeks and #4 most viral track of 2015 on Spotify.

The Brooklyn-based rock, blues-pop singer made history when her infectiously catchy rockabilly single hit the #1 spot on Billboard’s Alternative Chart – making her the second woman in two decades to achieve that feat (the other artist being Lorde with her 2013 tune “Royals”).

Raised on everyone from AC/DC to Elvis Presley and Dolly Parton, the sexy sassy blonde with that raspy voice a la Janis Joplin, blends blues, country, rock, soul, and honky-tonk into a sound that’s uniquely Elle.

She’s arrived and is definitely here to stay. But King’s music reign didn’t happen overnight, and she’s certainly paid her dues!

After years of playing small gigs in New York City when she was only sixteen, the Ohio-raised singer finally landed a major record deal with RCA in 2012. She released the critically acclaimed “The Elle King EP,” which produced the single “Playing for Keeps” that was picked up as the theme to VH1’s “Mob Wives Chicago,” and made her broadcast television debut on the “Late Show with David Letterman.”

Entertainment Weekly just named Elle King “Rock’s New Badass,” and she has been described by The New York Times as “a sassy, hard-drinking, love-’em-and-leave-’em hellion with bad tattoos and a broad pedigree across rock, pop and country. She has Adele’s determination and Joan Jett’s stomp, Brenda Lee’s high-voiced bite and some AC/DC shriek,” and she has been featured by The Wall Street Journal, Entertainment Weekly, Teen Vogue, People Magazine, Cosmopolitan, USA Today, and many more.

She debuted “Ex’s & Oh’s” on Late Night with Seth Meyers and has also performed on the season finale of Dancing with The Stars, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Late Night with Seth Meyers, Today Show, Late Late Show with James Corden, Live with Kelly and Michael, Jimmy Kimmel Live, The Talk and VH1 Big Morning Buzz Live, and VH1 Big in 2015, in support of her debut LOVE STUFF which has received overwhelming critical acclaim. 

Who else names her debut album after a sex shop in Florida (true story), picks up the banjo (of all instruments) after seeing a cute boy in Philly play it, and then writes her first real song on it, which got her signed?

She’s toured with James Bay and Ed Sheeran, appeared at festivals like Lollapalooza and Bonnaroo, and sold out her first two headlining tours.

Elle King oozes the kind of raw talent that is charismatic and leaves you wanting more; it’s electrifying and undeniably best experienced live!

Don’t miss her Dinah performance. If 2015 was the year she conquered, there’s already every indication that 2016 will be the year King will rule the music world!


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