I was at a fundraising party tonight for Lambda Legal (a fantastic organization for those of you who don’t know them, www.lambdalegal.org) and I had an interesting interaction with an older straight male attorney there. I’d been there a while and was comfortable. I chatted up a few different folks and was doing the proper business card exchange when up walks this old guy. A well-dressed man with tiny spectacles and a cognac in hand introduces himself to me, and then he says: “You have the best look of anyone here. Seriously.” I was flattered and thanked him. Right on!
Now, I’m feeling pretty awesome about my look and smiling both inside and out. Butch has got it! We talk a minute or two more and then he compliments me again. This time, he says I’m a “wise man.”
Scratch the record, stop the music. What the hell! I’m a wise man? Really? This guy has no idea I’m a woman? After several minutes of conversation? Wise? I’d like to think so. But, man? It’s not like I was at a Tea Party pep rally. Remember that this was a fundraiser for a group that fights for the rights of gays and big ol’ dykes. I was among my people! He should have been prepared. Maybe I should have corrected him, but I was really too shocked to do so. Can I blame it on the Henney? I don’t think so. He seemed like a seasoned drinker. Bully!
So, void the cool compliment. Obviously, this dude has no power of observation whatsoever. There could have been three other people at the party with cooler style than Butch, and he would have had no idea.
For those of you who are interested, the “look” was as follows:
- Orange and blue french cuff dress shirt, Thomas Pink
- Orange bow tie, Nordstrom
- Black plain front cotton dress pants, Dockers (yes, black with blue, it works sometimes)
- White belt, silver buckle, Adidas
- All white Stan Smith’s tennis shoes, Adidas
- Silver square cuff links, vintage – my grandfather’s
- Silver screw head earrings (they look like Phillips head screws), Uncommon Goods
Oh, and cognac-holding old guy! I’ve got a big rack under this men’s dress shirt and no Adam’s apple above my bow tie. Pay attention, Jackass!
Butches, what do you do when someone refers to you as a man?
It’s butch to have style, even when old straight white guys think you’re a dude. Be Butch.